blackbook

i finished reading [ MW ].

…this couldn’t certainly be made/adapted fully into a film XDDD.  considering morality consciousness things and all (XP), though the technology is so possible.  i fear this could be also due to Tamaki being considered “ikemen” and going even further into the Yuki role could actually… um^^;;. and the film based on the previews so far seem hell-bent on the “finding the MW/Yuki going even more merciless” angle only.

damn no explicit dead body disposal methods and a rabid dog. most specially, Tamaki making full use of Yuki’s kabuki-heritage. that would have been epic.

still, the sweetest picture though:

…who could actually kill someone who could sleep that beautifully?? ahaha XD

i’d look at the film with fresh eyes then^^;;.

merch for The Final Match Rikkai First feat. Shitenhouji finally on.

…argh i’m so broke atm though.  I REALLY NEED TO FIND A JOB ASAP >___<;;.

( this is just the first layer… )

1.

so beautiful isn’t it ;o; ♥~~~~

anyway i have already ordered this photobook. and of course this:

just wishing that there will be no better deals than this on the other site >__<;;… honestly fretting the whole day yesterday on what the hell 「一般先行予約特典：other cut写真付」could be.  actually ordered everything i have to order, bjd items included, but i’m certainly watching out for whatever 「一般先行予約特典：other cut写真付」is. could this actually be something similar to Babansu style: other cut version? actually everything except those magazines from Nippon Export, because suddenly my card was all maxed out @___@;. dammit Masa you leave me broke >__<;.

i’m so in trouble now for my “to follow” purchases. and my backpay’s still awol for a month. i gotta have a job asap ahaha @___@;;.

2. speaking of photography, this is just so beautiful♥.

3. actually spent almost the past whole 2 days over this aside from the major cleaning still in progress… yay i would like to believe my room’s 60% completed already hahaha X__x;;… damn that is that LJ’s fault :

[ MW ].

alkdlfdslkffdklf so this is the “MW” i’ve been constantly seeing tagged with Tamaki Hiroshi on those magazines…

…and the most pwning fact of it all, is this was adapted from the original manga by OSAMU TEZUKA 0___0! yes, THE Osamu Tezuka!

aljsdlsjfldsflksd wahh from any animator’s main idol Tezuka*___*~~~  i certainly want to see this film!  really impressed by what i see on the trailer so far… i really want to see if the film did the manga justice!

currently reading on the manga, and i’m honestly impressed by what i’ve read at this point — about how so dark, raw, violent, and  unapologetic this manga is. if you think this is another Simba or Astroboy, and Black Jack is already the darkest you could get out of Tezuka,  then this manga is certainly not for you XDDD . the art still has the kind of “softness” that you see is characteristic in the Tezuka art-style, maybe almost Disney-like (rubbery legs, anyone?), but to me that also serves like a kind of shock factor to the extremely dark story it has. hell, it even has yaoi… couldn’t believe it myself *cough*… and it was so matter-of-fact (yet makes much sense) in the manga it almost makes me laughXDDD, it seems almost “cheeky”… but honestly it is not the yaoi factor that attracted me, it is all that sheer point-blank violence really XD.

this kind of promotional photo though posted in a movie theater in Shibuya is kind of distracting though:

i want to make this to an LJ icon… um. [ 禁断のエロチシズム ] (”Forbidden Eroticism”) eh? XDDD. though i have a feeling the film is anything but such. i have a feeling too it would be toned down like hell which usually happens to any literature-to-big-screen-adaptation =___=;, this homoerotic fact and sheer violence of the manga included.  though anyone with a not-too-innocent mind could kind of see some innuendo in this:

it’s such a sweet picture. uh. btw, Garai (the long-haired guy played by Takayuki Yamada, while his supposed manga version is anything but long-haired, shorter, and too mild-demeanored) is a priest.

anyway. looking forward to the dvd already. and i honestly want to buy the soundtrack argh money, again >.<. and also spawned such awesome merchandise:

awesomely simple, but kick-ass design right there*____* arghhh keep me away from silver accessories nooooo.

making of doesn’t give me much on camera techniques though >.< (i love looking more on the technical aspect ahaha)

anyway, this had also actually spawned me a whole new respect for Tamaki Hiroshi he actually reminds me of Takkun for some reason, or maybe it’s those megane shots XDD. i mean, i haven’t even watched Nodame Cantabile at all for the main reason that i really don’t dig shoujo manga that much X__X;; and the taiwanese dramas circa F4-craze are the last i had, and I was honestly kind of pouting that almost one whole Television Homme volume was dedicated only to him ahaha X__x…

But for a type-casted leading-man type to effectively play as a villain/anti-hero… that is really impressive isn’t it?? (I admit, I was really pwned seeing his expressions on the official trailers… though manga!Yuki is supposed to be kind of “soft” in design I think his dashing yet dangerous take on the character gave even more “real” dimension to Yuki, it honestly gave me the chills must be that smirk of death too XDDD)

was also looking at some gallery of Tamaki pics… you really couldn’t believe that from this wtf!gaunt Mister Donut character, to the ehh?2nd fiddle in Waterboys, he’d be like this (ok, but meh still looks ignorable), to this (he had been voted as “best in yukata” at the Oricon polls), to this:

ASDFKJDSKJFLKSDJF YOU HOT MAN WHERE HAD YOU BEEN ALL THIS TIME ahaha XDDDD.

and btw he’s not that young anymore (yay finally someone older than me =D ahaha) though on European standards that’s still not too old. maybe age and maturity really does wonders to the sex appeal of a person??  somehow he feels like wine, which gets better with age XDD don’t go too thin though >__<

4. speaking of age, sensei actually is one hot character too XDDD i really couldn’t help but call Sato Ryuta “sensei” still *dies*. can’t you believe he’s the afro guy in Kisarazu Cat’s Eye???

5. sorry, but this is just too cute XDDDD. WinXP Home wouldn’t do it for me though.

6. and in the process of looking for a bigger pic of that Tamaki x Yamada pic above *cough* i found this gem:

don’t you just want to do this to someone irl??? ahahaha XDDD

1. i would surely want something like this. or his figure. ;o;.

2. now this looks really cool *___*. well, anything with Jack Black in it is cool  XD.

3. this is very very cool too XDDD. oh Japan and your inventions ~~~ i’m kinda nervous what this would do to your pc’s power supply though. there’s also a cup warmer version, a plasma ball (for the physics geek in me), and a missile launcher. wireless. yeah XD.

4. that nohohon simple Stitch is already gone ;o;. i mean, there’s an Aloha!Stitch, but nooo i just want the simple kind of Stitch ;o;…!

5. a few days ago, i saw this gem:

source.

alksfddksjflkdsjflkdsf I FINALLY SEE TAKUI SMILING IN A PICTURE WITH MASA XDDDDD. not just the usual “i’m a cool music idol” pose, but smiling aldfjsdlfjldsjflskf.

Takui is ok to me now XDDDD.

this was found while i was agonizing over which Arena 37 magazine issue is this Masa picture, blah blah. kind of did all Masa orders already, so i’m kind of just here waiting and fretting if they’ll really be getting all my stuff for me >___<, since no reply email yet (argh i didn’t know it was the weekend already), and so far the only Masa-related thing left to order is…

6. the day after that, because i was too busy getting my diploma and work clearance i couldn’t net:

ALJFSKLDFLKSDFKLSDFKLSDJLSDFXDDDDDDDDD.

OMG LESLIE KEE I REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU.  uh, i really just couldn’t say enough XDDD;;. this is just like… dream collaboration of two of my favorite separate artistic disciplines for me, Masa in the performing arts and Leslie in the visual arts, and a peek of the result of the collaboration… *o; ♥♥♥~~~~

i’ve long been admiring his work since that Shirota Yuu magazine shoot i honestly didn’t know then that he was the one who did that XDDD, though the style is basically screaming him already. then he did ALTAR BOYZ, then Kagotsurube (i’ll be so getting this pamphlet in the future, i swear), then THIS. alfdjflsdjlfjsdlfjsdfjl DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME ;o; i’m really so happy;o;~~~

the story behind the book is also very interesting.  with Masa’s charisma and personality, no doubt Leslie also got sucked in♥ XDDD.  i kinda just knew it, by seeing all of Leslie’s photos of Masa in ALTAR BOYZ… XDDDDD.

photo does make me blush, no? ehh the photo alone has its artistic merits *cough*, the lines *o*~~~~~~~ leading to his beautiful face~~~~

now all that Leslie is left to do is photograph Baba Toru. seriously. XDDDD. that would be awesome XDDDD~~~~. and there would be nosebleeding all around the world again.

…i’m just… kind of fretting about how to get this though ;o;.  japanese merchandisers can really be quite difficult to us international customers ;o;… and they prioritize the japanese Masa fans first so… >___< i’m really getting depressed thinking about the difficulties already ;o;… i mean, Masa fans in Japan who could afford the book does not seriously amount to 3000 right ;o;??? (which is the limited number of copies to be released *dies*) i hope there wouldn’t be much hoarders and resellers >___<;;… i kind of envy all those who would be going to Japan at the time the photobook will be released…!

and if ever there was a photobook event, though I really really would like to see Masa (again!), I really would want to see Leslie in person as well. and congratulate him on his excellent work so far♥.

…the next day though, Masa cheekily posts like nothing has happened. XDDDDDD. yeah like he didn’t induce massive nosebleeding all around the world at one day. on to the next. adsjsjflsdjfldsjflkds.

7. Ookawa Genki and Kato Kazuki (!!!) in a rock musical called King of the Blue. now this is interesting XDDDD and i definitely want to see this!  Kazuki on a musical again and SINGING at that*o*…. *diesrepeatedly*.

8. i find myself looking forward to Takkun’s pics. idk XDDD;;.

as a visual lover, in photography, i actually dig human, architecture, landscape photography XDDD. and i really think this boy has a very good eye and sense of composition, so…♥.

9. um. i really want to try these — Tower of Dream, ehh? and i recognize this Masa Homme shoot…

but i’m not in Japan. and no enabled keitai as well. ;o;.

10. i haven’t watched Transformers yet >__<;;.  seems everybody already saw it except me ;o;. maybe today… but argh… Masa letter… and too much to clean >__<;…

um, yeah, i really didn’t get the italianni phone^^;;.  as much as i don’t want them to waste any more money buying me a new phone by just taking that phone already, my father insisted as he says i wouldn’t be able to use the internet browsing features effectively anyway plus his most beloved LG phone mysteriously disappered =__=. plus it is all in italian, though i seriously started not to care about that.

because my country’s mobile telecom system basically sucks in internet support -__-;; = they do not know yet how to configure this model of HTC >__>;;.

so, yeah. damn, that would have been my first time experiencing a Windows Mobile phone… 

well, anyway. i got what i really wanted in the first place, so… weeeell yeah i’m also looking at this.  Softbank’s Sharp models are just that sleek♥.

actually the very first picture i saved in my phone was:

awww~~~♥♥♥ though the guys just look like they just want to be free already LOL. the fastest way to Masa’s heart = dogs (specially those that look like Kuu-chan). and yakiniku (+beer if possible). and yeah, maybe aromatherapy.

XD.

next pic was:

of course♥.

all from Masa’s blog, navigated via free mall wifi from the phone XDD.

…i love my phone already XDDDD. too big pictures though still, even at VGA mode (aldsjflsdjfldjsflsdj 640×480 lowest size X__x;;;). and now i just have to find out how to get Japanese characters display there too argh. and dammit i still couldn’t find any hack though that could save those video files off his site >__<;;.

also, to celebrate resignation times and such:

oooh it’s only now i noticed the eito sign. um. actually trying all the flavors now XDDD the Margarita mix still tastes better. strangely though after this i didn’t feel even slightly tipsy… ehh does that mean that my alcohol tolerance is going higher again??? uhh this is bad XDDD;;;…. or it might just be i’m tasting to cola part more… i’m dreading tasting the orange mix though X__x;;…

anyways. while i was actually in the process of resizing those humongous pics from my phone i noticed this:

ehhh…

i actually long wondered what model Masa’s phone could be the supposedly new one he got shortly after he transferred blogs… and didn’t know how to customize the picture size setting yet XDDD;;. if my Windows is actually not lying and that is not actually manager-san’s phone (it’s actually the same phone model used at that Masa+Ba-chon pic above), the SH906i actually looks like this up close:

initially i thought he either picked this blue one or the black, until i remembered that he actually has the white one which kinda threw me off line there at what i thought was his usual color preference XDD;; and yeah it kinda breaks my heart that you’re in the DoCoMo network, Masa >.<;;.

it has lots of cool features too. aside from the fact that the screen can go 180 degrees *____*… and damn it’s got DMC pre-installed there too 0___0…! Masa has really got nice taste XDDD or whoever was with him when he bought this at that time XDDDD. i’m seriously considering this phone now XDDD but still… DoCoMo ;^;~~~.

kind of went meh though at Softbank’s “prepaid models” 705Px and 707SCII. 707SCII looks sleek specially, but, meh features =___=… i’ll not be staying long at Japan if ever ;o;. but why these phones ;o;.

but then, this NERV phone looks cool XDDDDD….

i named my phone “ALEX”.  XD.

i wanted to draw niou, but i ended up drawing renji instead.

yes, i finally have that phone i’ve been long mooning over XDDD.

the SE G900.

ehh could be kind of difficult pressing the camera button though @___@;;. doesn’t bite immediately. had to go through 5 units before I got one that immediately worked out of the box. like, not hanging @___@;;.

it’s actually kind of a “truce offering” gift, i think.

i’m not going to have the flat i’ve long been saving up for. except if i win by lottery or something =___=.

actually trying my best to kind of win in a certain “lottery” now. this is just me pushing my luck (苦笑).

i finally admitted some things to certain people.  i tried everything i can, including that last step.

but maybe it was just not meant to be. for now. it did teach me an important lesson about truth though. and sincerity.

the way i took was not right. therefore, i do deserve this “punishment” of not getting it after all i’ve done. i wanted to regret that this and such could have been invested to here, etc., but i cannot.  i realize, this is what is really meant by “doing things at your very best without regret”.  true, i feel a little regret that all my efforts, right or wrong, had just been in vain, and that i did stray from the right path, but it is so miniscule… that i’d probably forget it over time.  it is a lesson learned, one that i wholeheartedly accept. bittersweet, but still.

one thing that is born through bitterness and spite… really goes nowhere. 

but the most important thing, this also taught me that i do not have to be ashamed if my intentions were actually sincere and true.  the root of all these was one simple thing… a wish for peace.  somewhere along the way, it somehow had twisted into such ugliness like bitterness and hate. i admit, i still feel those now. but still, the purest intention is there… confusing, isn’t it?  somehow, i’m glad, i never forgot that purest intention.  somehow then, admitting things, not being ashamed that i could feel such negative emotion behind it all… did make a part of others finally understand…?

it is the damn nearest to the truth that i could muster without hurting others. like, just a mere .1 now.

sometimes, i think, is it merely selfishness on my part that i do not want others hurt, just because i had been hurt and would not want others to feel that way?

but i know better now not to be ashamed of these kind of feelings.

or, at least, i know i’m getting there.

truly, life is not really the search for happiness. but balance.

nevertheless, with everything that happened, i’m honestly quite surprised… and felt blessed… that letting go of this somehow opened a lot of doors for me.  chances.  and reintroduced the possibility of getting another flat in the future.

if i forced myself to go through getting the flat now, i would practically tie half of my life there.

but the saying that “when God closes a door, he opens some windows”? yeah, that’s actually true.

and it was a damn too many windows as well. and i even see some doors beyond. and this is just not me on positive thinking mode.

so, yes, i think the heavens are still kind to me =). maybe they did see my true intention, and still gave me a chance to get it.

so i’m getting it. so i said “for now”.  all i wish for now, though, is more than enough good health to do it all… without that flat, i’ll surely tire myself out travelling and such =___=.

good thing with all these, as well, i’ve finally come to a basic agreed condition, compromise with people concerned. so all is really well.

June is not that bad after all.

also, i actually finally resigned from that night job a few days ago.  aside from being sick for days before that.

with the flat technically “gone” though… lottery *crosses fingers*, i think there’s really no reason for me to still be there anymore.

ehhh the only thing i’m actually really busy right now is trying to tidy up The Great Big Mess™ my parents left =___=;;.

it’s really tiring just looking at it ~___~;;;;…!  i can’t even begin to write that Masa letter with how messed up everything is X___X;;…!