blackbook

um, by last post “superficial” doesn’t sound right^^;;.  i don’t really know the simplest word for “sebaceous cyst”.

english’s not my first language, sorry (苦笑).

i had my surgery today.

it’s too painful >__<;;.

too much anesthetic, and i was also strapped down the bed.  the doctor said my skin’s too thin.

…i don’t want to experience this ever again (苦笑).

maybe i should ask for a biopsy… i’m still worried >___<;;.

the stuffed cat is something my cousin gave me today XD.  ah… i think there’s no need to make a stuffed cat for my Schwarz anymore^__^.

1.

so beautiful isn’t it ;o; ♥~~~~

anyway i have already ordered this photobook. and of course this:

just wishing that there will be no better deals than this on the other site >__<;;… honestly fretting the whole day yesterday on what the hell 「一般先行予約特典：other cut写真付」could be.  actually ordered everything i have to order, bjd items included, but i’m certainly watching out for whatever 「一般先行予約特典：other cut写真付」is. could this actually be something similar to Babansu style: other cut version? actually everything except those magazines from Nippon Export, because suddenly my card was all maxed out @___@;. dammit Masa you leave me broke >__<;.

i’m so in trouble now for my “to follow” purchases. and my backpay’s still awol for a month. i gotta have a job asap ahaha @___@;;.

2. speaking of photography, this is just so beautiful♥.

3. actually spent almost the past whole 2 days over this aside from the major cleaning still in progress… yay i would like to believe my room’s 60% completed already hahaha X__x;;… damn that is that LJ’s fault :

[ MW ].

alkdlfdslkffdklf so this is the “MW” i’ve been constantly seeing tagged with Tamaki Hiroshi on those magazines…

…and the most pwning fact of it all, is this was adapted from the original manga by OSAMU TEZUKA 0___0! yes, THE Osamu Tezuka!

aljsdlsjfldsflksd wahh from any animator’s main idol Tezuka*___*~~~  i certainly want to see this film!  really impressed by what i see on the trailer so far… i really want to see if the film did the manga justice!

currently reading on the manga, and i’m honestly impressed by what i’ve read at this point — about how so dark, raw, violent, and  unapologetic this manga is. if you think this is another Simba or Astroboy, and Black Jack is already the darkest you could get out of Tezuka,  then this manga is certainly not for you XDDD . the art still has the kind of “softness” that you see is characteristic in the Tezuka art-style, maybe almost Disney-like (rubbery legs, anyone?), but to me that also serves like a kind of shock factor to the extremely dark story it has. hell, it even has yaoi… couldn’t believe it myself *cough*… and it was so matter-of-fact (yet makes much sense) in the manga it almost makes me laughXDDD, it seems almost “cheeky”… but honestly it is not the yaoi factor that attracted me, it is all that sheer point-blank violence really XD.

this kind of promotional photo though posted in a movie theater in Shibuya is kind of distracting though:

i want to make this to an LJ icon… um. [ 禁断のエロチシズム ] (”Forbidden Eroticism”) eh? XDDD. though i have a feeling the film is anything but such. i have a feeling too it would be toned down like hell which usually happens to any literature-to-big-screen-adaptation =___=;, this homoerotic fact and sheer violence of the manga included.  though anyone with a not-too-innocent mind could kind of see some innuendo in this:

it’s such a sweet picture. uh. btw, Garai (the long-haired guy played by Takayuki Yamada, while his supposed manga version is anything but long-haired, shorter, and too mild-demeanored) is a priest.

anyway. looking forward to the dvd already. and i honestly want to buy the soundtrack argh money, again >.<. and also spawned such awesome merchandise:

awesomely simple, but kick-ass design right there*____* arghhh keep me away from silver accessories nooooo.

making of doesn’t give me much on camera techniques though >.< (i love looking more on the technical aspect ahaha)

anyway, this had also actually spawned me a whole new respect for Tamaki Hiroshi he actually reminds me of Takkun for some reason, or maybe it’s those megane shots XDD. i mean, i haven’t even watched Nodame Cantabile at all for the main reason that i really don’t dig shoujo manga that much X__X;; and the taiwanese dramas circa F4-craze are the last i had, and I was honestly kind of pouting that almost one whole Television Homme volume was dedicated only to him ahaha X__x…

But for a type-casted leading-man type to effectively play as a villain/anti-hero… that is really impressive isn’t it?? (I admit, I was really pwned seeing his expressions on the official trailers… though manga!Yuki is supposed to be kind of “soft” in design I think his dashing yet dangerous take on the character gave even more “real” dimension to Yuki, it honestly gave me the chills must be that smirk of death too XDDD)

was also looking at some gallery of Tamaki pics… you really couldn’t believe that from this wtf!gaunt Mister Donut character, to the ehh?2nd fiddle in Waterboys, he’d be like this (ok, but meh still looks ignorable), to this (he had been voted as “best in yukata” at the Oricon polls), to this:

ASDFKJDSKJFLKSDJF YOU HOT MAN WHERE HAD YOU BEEN ALL THIS TIME ahaha XDDDD.

and btw he’s not that young anymore (yay finally someone older than me =D ahaha) though on European standards that’s still not too old. maybe age and maturity really does wonders to the sex appeal of a person??  somehow he feels like wine, which gets better with age XDD don’t go too thin though >__<

4. speaking of age, sensei actually is one hot character too XDDD i really couldn’t help but call Sato Ryuta “sensei” still *dies*. can’t you believe he’s the afro guy in Kisarazu Cat’s Eye???

5. sorry, but this is just too cute XDDDD. WinXP Home wouldn’t do it for me though.

6. and in the process of looking for a bigger pic of that Tamaki x Yamada pic above *cough* i found this gem:

don’t you just want to do this to someone irl??? ahahaha XDDD

1. finally! today:

alsdkdsklfjdks i didn’t realize that the Canon was that small.
and Gackt*____*. i’ve always wanted to buy the limited version of this single (because of the epic dvd with it!)
and… Vassalord*_____*. well — everything i’ve read so far! but the extras with it… are really a surprise*___*♥♥♥.

2. and, yesterday:

alskfhslkdfhdlkshfldshfldsh I’M STILL FLAILING NOW BECAUSE OF EXTREME HAPPINESS. though, admittedly, i spent the whole day today encoding Buck-Tick’s Mona Lisa BGV from their Akuma to Freud: Climax Together DVD, just to compare codecs. But still…! this feeling of happiness and giddiness i have spent in listening to the album yesterday… just won’t go away! i’m really dying to listen to it again! (but, alas! my pc is not that powerful and i only have one disc player ahaha >__<).
ah… i still have to gush more about this album tomorrow. and my semi-final Masa favorite playlist =3

3. um. as i mentioned above. what i’ve been doing today:

left is the original according to my PowerDVD, next is Xvid, then h264. it’s not noticeable difference as PS had done further compression through PNG >.<, but being too critical on video quality (the fault of being a film major >.<;;;), there’s the issue of more artefacts at Xvid…
looks like h264 is the way to go.
at least from the Aimersoft rip. i also tried Total Video Converter’s DivX50, Lossless HUFYUV avi, Lossless Rawvideo avi. but Quicktime couldn’t play the Lossless ones, so i couldn’t do a comparison >__<;;.
why Mona Lisa? aside from liking this BGV version, i actually have… plans. XD. and it’s… Masa related. to be explained soon…!

4. alfjdslfjdslfdlsjfk I SAW A SALE OF A LIMITED VERSION OF LONGINUS. AND MONA LISA OVERDRIVE ~XANADU~. AND TENSHI NO REVOLVER. OMG. wantingwantingwanting! (but… no money…. *cringe*)

wanting stuff i couldn’t buy yet, being in trouble with amortizations, being in trouble at work, craving alcohol, while listening to/remembering Masa and his album and daydreaming — strangely these are moments when i genuinely feel alive.

5. i realize i possibly couldn’t be a seiyuu, because work is saying my voice is so “no smile”. or, technically, flat. what.
(i’m starting to believe this is one of the reasons why i’m most of the time misunderstood. -__-. what can i do??)

6. kinda related to above — i went to the doctor today.

i noticed these past few weeks my energy level’s been dropping quite drastically, that i was actually unable to go to work yesterday >__<. i’m actually kind of alarmed now. and it feels like it’s not just due to the heat. (i’m actually surprised i’m not getting sick yet, because usually my “getting sick” time is this time of the year — or is it around May? — when the temperature drops drastically. and considering too that just a few weeks ago i came back from a very cold country to this shock of a heatwave here…)
though i’m really adverse to the idea of having to resort to taking medication just to fix my body, i think i really need help now ~___~.
but what could be the cure to “extreme weariness” anyway???

…doctor says i’m nearing over-fatigue and anemia already @__@. uh.

7. i really want to study Latin officially. and begin with the Japanese as well. i think it’s possible. but again, no money >___<…

as per previous post, i’m actually lusting for Canon 50D now instead of the previous 40D >___<. and, for point and shoot times, maybe a Panasonic DMZ-LZ8 if on a tight budget or for slim maybe a Canon Ixus 90 IS or Panasonic DMC-FX37 or, if desperate, a Nikon Coolpix S210 (er… really looking for something that works really well on low-light conditions >.<…)

…i wish. because due to the amortizations issue, i think i wouldn’t be able to spend on anything for… maybe.. the whole year >___< (Pado, wait for me ;^;…)

anyway. these are the things so far that make me happy!:

1.
came with a mousepad =3. to be used in a future laptop then…!

2. this edition of Hero Vision must be the next best thing to that Baba x Masa crosstalk ever X3!:

..Papa!

( this is just the first layer… )

for some reason i have this compulsion to watch Clint Eastwood’s Gran Torino. hm.

a few days ago

i realize there’s this little place i always frequent, when i’m tired and hungry but i don’t want to eat rice. and they serve this! classic hot almost tasteless dough and hot chocolate syrup… yum*____*. and at a good day like that time, i ate all the rays of this sunburst. but ended up not being able to eat the center anymore XD (took it to the office).

and that night

bean cake! with WALNUTS too *____*aldsjflsdjflsdfjlds. nice office snack, lasted me for a good 3 nights, perhaps. and its lucky~~~ ah… it’s empty lol.

but… aksldjflkdsfkldsj grr SMJ. for not giving shipping details like exact timeframe and their contact details and when it was actually sent… IF it was sent. and for late replying to emails too. and, can’t they just answer my questions directly??? AND THEY HAVE MY MASA TICKETS ASLFJDKGJDLFJSLDSK! 17 is the playdate! ARGH! grr, you FAIL >=c! and most likely would foil our plans to go around Nakano before the show at the 17th because we have to sit around fretting on tickets we don’t have yet! >___<!!!

pls pray that we would get the tickets at the 16th. or 17th morning. how the hell does overnight EMS work in Japan anyway?? do stuff really arrive on time before 5pm??? i guess SMJ is not really reliable for rush things, even if they claim overnight shipping =(.

so that i could give this

to Masa. the drama behind this gift-giving is actually… “what do you give to a person who has everything??!?“. XD;;;. i realize Masa is truly one lucky guy (i wish i had these much fans, so i could be given gifts i want/even if i don’t ask for it ahaha. and yes the psychedelic bag is intentional).

so pls pray for me for a safe trip! this is my first time flying, actually. because… it would really be a bummer/anticlimactic if plane just crashes or burns or we get snakes in there. if tragedy please contact my family and tell them my funeral song should be Guns N’ Roses’ November Rain. toned-down rearrangement is ok. because i understand it would be weird if the chant part’s included XD. and maybe some black, blue, and red roses too… <–no i’m not thinking of this!

and as much as i want to bring you, Toru, you’re too heavy >.< ! someday, when i’m richer and more confident flying. sorry…!

this long post is long because i’m really worried. because i’ll be gone for 5 days (developing pictures and going to work immediately included!). unless somewhere there lends his internet connection XD.

“Gud pm. May n0w pick ur pasport fr0m 9am-4:30pm Monday to Friday & Sat. 9am-11:30am. Kindly txbk ur c0mplete name “XXX INC.”

what what? have i been approved or what? what what WHAT D:???

*dreading tomorrow… frets*

because everybody seems to be doing it. and i’m not supposed to sleep (because i might oversleep again, and a taxi to rush to work is expensive =___=;;; *in cold turkey mode*).

( this is just the first layer… )

Merry Xmas, to all!

i'm actually kind of sulking right now because i was forced to spend Xmas Eve at work and Toru's giving me some expression now that almost looks like a pout… and it looks like it would be the same for the New Year too. i swear workforce hates me. but i'm working on that. i can't NOT spend my New Year at home — i have some kind of personal tradition every year, so that insubordination paper may be damned >=/.

Xmas was pretty weird… rainy! and i heard from my parents Venice's flooded right now too alsdkfsklfjsklfj. everybody — do something about the global warming situation! i hope it won't be like that on New Year so that we'd get to do fireworks!

i think Crescent Shop is pissed at me, because i kind of struggled a bit at the fact that you have to pay via Moneybookers if you're going to buy something labelled as "adult". when it's not explicitly stated in their website. that they didn't even tell me that my [徹－Ｔｅｔｓｕ－] was ready to be shipped =/.

my art at the sweet_pool comm… makes me feel pathetic at the progress of "my art" -___-… it's like;… i never really changed… never really learned… but then that could be due to the effect of being too tired most of the time to even try to draw something…

i find that processing a passport the normal way takes 2 weeks, and i don't know if papers to japan would take even longer. and i have to go somewhere far tomorrow just to process something. meaning even lesser sleep. i don't know if i have enough time before february comes. and i'm so dreading to open my other email add just to see that my friend hadn't bought those Altar Boyz tickets yet .

i really don't like Xmas, i find. because i have to do certain… obligations i never really liked having to put up a front/i just wish certain people particularly the ones that make me feel miserable would just leave me alone though they don't know they actually make me feel like that, that i feel almost like Yagyuu sometimes.  how couldn't i be, when his birthday is just right next to mine alsdkjfdkfjsljfdk.

but i find making other people happy makes me happier even more. i don't know why. it's actually a strange realization, which started just last year…

but at least i saw a beautiful human version of a centaur today…

…i think all my moping today is due to the fact that i have to work on Xmas Eve. and i couldn't reveal the reason why.

at least, i think, on a timezone +1 to mine someone must be feeling similarly. too many people around, yet still so lonely…

Vassalord and Masa… are the only things that keep me sane/dreaming/daydreaming right now.

ok. this would be the last moping/wallowing/ranty post of the year, and the first and the last time i'll do it here. i should have done it on my personal journal, but my journal's dead right now. so sorry~~~ i hope you'll bear with me. even for just now.