blackbook

if everyone thinks that just because i don’t have work right now i have that much free time in my hands = NOT XD. and i hate being accused of that. had been trying to clear The Great Big Mess™ the Elders left while trying not to go insane+bearing all the rl drama my Pack just majestically seems to concoct everytime, and i’m kinda proud to say i’m about 90% completed (because i also have to clean up my computer room eh).

just have to drill a hole in the wall, figure out where to put things in the limited space this is actually the hardest thing because there’s not much space anymore alsjfsldjfldlk and i still have my props box to worry about, clean a little more, and i should be done and zen enough to start looking for work again.

and i’ve pretty much decided too that i’ll be watching the 2nd part of the Final Rikkaimyu this December/January. i mean, because by manga-timeline (and myu cutting) Niou is supposed to play singles against Fuji, and singles is usually on the 2nd part of the myus. for all i know that may be the last time i’ll see Masa… or actually Baba (because his management just abruptly cuts him off from whatever fun thing he is in for the sake of “career advancement” reasons unknown)… in Tenimyu.  or the first and last time i’ll see a Tenimyu ever.

[ though... i seriously would want to see the elimination matches in Shinpuri come to life... if ever Shinpuri would actually happen XDDD. and i would definitely definitely still want Baba and Masa to play their parts. ( cut because there may be Shinpuri spoilers here for those who still have not read ) ]

just have to sell something very important to me to cover at least half of the travel expenses (i can earn for the tickets anyway… hopefully!). but…

my plan of finally getting a dslr aside from saving for that “another Japan trip” is kinda botched though…

( cut for a depressing, shocking, life contemplating, morbid thing )

my best friend.

…looks like i will be needing it now >__<;; (got rained on a bit yesterday).

today is showing all signs of being crappy, starting from around 4am. i’m forcing myself to cool my head, mentally say fu only once to that i would want to say that to. move on.

and i’ll be removing that makeshift clothesline in my room because that’s the source of all evil >=o.

but at least i’ve made an early accomplishment — finished scanning all my japan trip pics =D! and will be proceeding with applying for a parttime job online later. 

and later… alkfsldflsdflaflsdjlkjalk GUILD WARS UPDATE XDDD! i’m so excited! (storage upgrade…! pet ranch..? but how..???!??)… but… argh… i need to sleep ;^;…! but… but…!

2 days ago:

finally X3! um… looks… authentic @___@;;;…????

L thinks i’m made of fail though. because aside from having to deal with the certification period on the new account i’ve been assigned to (read: if i don’t pass, i lose my job @___@;;), I had to run and rush my Japanese visa for the remaining 7 days.

Technically 2 weeks, but the Japanese embassy doesn’t work on Wednesdays and on weekends for some reason (so actually only 4 days of work a week… lucky bastards), and i can only pass the complete papers this upcoming Monday morning. so much for the big deal on the differences of being a tourist compared to being someone who has relatives there >__>.

my friend wasn’t able to receive her missing paperwork in time, thus i was forced to ask for help for my aunt in Saitama. =___=;;;. my parents though were strangely supportive which makes me suspicious =___=;;;…

generally, i feel so messed up=___=;;. and tired. i’m kind of regretting certain things i had to wait for, but in the end never came…

i want to write some more. but i forgot @__@;;.

i’m going to meet nei today…?

1. dammit Masa you really pwn me everytime you look like this *___*…

2. yes, Ba-chon, i would have really wanted to watch Kizumomo too! but i’m not in Japan =___=;; (and more likely if I was in Japan i still wouldn’t understand 95% of what you’re saying in the film. XD;; but i’ll definitely consider buying its dvd…! this is the first time that i would actually buy a Japanese dvd that’s pure drama omg)

3. i saw X Files: Fight the Future again today on tv! the tv reception is bad though >.<. i can’t believe i forgot the whole premise of the film already aslkdfjsdfjdsky… it’s been that long! i’m really considering watching the new X-Files film though some people didn’t rate it well — i admit to having been a X-Phile myself^^;; (i still have those X-Files books and that David Duchovny book… *cough*), though I also admit I kind of stopped watching way before Duchovny quit the franchise (because I couldn’t follow anymore the show for some reason).

4. i finished putting covers on some books yesterday. and laundry. i feel so accomplished XD;;!

5. my mood yesterday though:

yeah. it was so hot, then it rained while it was scorching hot outside 0__0. the weather’s so weird!

…in my country’s lore, they say, whenever it would rain while it is sunny, a man-horse gets married somewhere (yeah, think Sard… only, the man-horse-centaur-whatever really has horse head XDD and he’s not as omgwtfbbqieatyoursoul!pretty as Sard XD).

6. i just finished watching Cathexis: Bronze yesterday. OMG SO 80’s XDDDD. and… mou… 月光～Ｍｏｂｉｕｓ～ ;___;… Koji…

(i want to buy that Koji Nanjo Cathexis album, reminds me… and download that Mobius song somewhere… alskdfhsdkfksdjk)

7.
…i couldn’t remember what character this is??!? but i know he’s popular >.<… *racks brains* is he a San-X character or something..???!?? *i’m sorry, i really can’t remember >.<…!*

my cousin just found him lying around downstairs, and gave him to me (knowing my preference for odd plushies… he also gave me some action figure of some irritated cartoony frog later @___@;;;). he’s actually dirty right now haha XD… gotta do something about that…

(and yeah, during that i was reading inarikami’s translation of Masa’s entries XD…no he’s not doing the finger XDDD, his pic of himself just turned out cropped, as he’s trying out his new keitai! lol)

8. i think i would be doing that “Last Salvo” post now. maybe today. maybe tomorrow. i don’t know. but i’ll definitely do it. no matter the consequences, as the consequences are long gone for me. me right now… i’m just in a zen-y “no regrets” mode right now. and i believe it’s the little cracks that erode whole structures. this is really me talking right now. like Masa said, ” 俺、今出来る事を命一杯、精一杯、させていただきます！！やれる時にやっとかないと、後で後悔する人生なんて俺の性に合わんからね”.

it’s kinda surprising… we share the same viewpoint XD. except, i say “fu” to the world when i definitely feel like it lol.

9. i’m finally now trying out d/ling Ba-chon’s Flying High goodness. but dammit why isn’t it working now >.<… i will still buy Ba-chon and Masa’s photobooks in the future though! (yes, i’m such a fan like that XDDD) and maybe their tie-up dvds too if i’m courageous enough to display it on my collection XD.

10. had also been putting in those photosets at an album today (yay easily accessible Masa =D! and Ba-chon =D! and Kazuki-chan =D! …which pages i plan to post up in my flat in the future heehee). but zOMG I RAN OUT OF PAGES LOL. gotta buy a new album again… desu =___=;;;… money…! ;^;!

11. nooooo…. my Brother multifunction is officially dead… having it fixed would be even as costly as buying a new multifunction….why do i have to buy a new multifunction instead…..nooooooooo…. I’m looking at a Canon Pixma MX318 now… ugh money ;^;…! defiinitely not buying a Brother anymore even if its inks are cheaper! alskdfdskfdsklfdjk

today is the Wild Strawberry event!

*…sulks in the corner~~~*

can’t you believe that i actually CONSIDERED going to Japan JUST FOR THIS??? asdkfdkfdksfsdlj

because the feeling of seeing both Masa and Seki on stage is DEFINITELY EPIC PRICELESS. (i would want them to work together again in the future…! maybe, Masa would also need to dabble on seiyuu-dom as well to do that, like Ba-chon did XD?)

…but honestly, i prefer the “normal” WS dvd covers rather than the “individual characters” versions haha:

though Masa’s is really, absolutely TEMPTING… even if the photos they used there are quite OOC/too sexy for his played character in WS haha. and i would have wanted their signatures on my DVD as well ;^;… and… photos and merchandise on the event…!

i have a feeling too that they will sing “LOVERS” along with 12012, knowing that these guys could sing (I miss hearing Seki sing already…! i wonder if his singing voice had changed since Weiβ Kreuz days).

*refreshing my Crescent shop account now like crazy for update on that dvd*

ah, Japan… someday… i’ll go there! *determined!* i will be attending a Masa event!

*sigh*

i’m also sniping on some post right now about “negativity” and “positivity” — but i wouldn’t want to spoil my currently nice mood for now over that haha (i will savor my day off today! because it will be hell on earth at work next week…! and… doctor’s appointment and bills to pay…!). and continuing a certain story for adultfanfiction.net (yes, I write there as well…! if you know where to look ^__~♥. just not… direct-linking to it now, hahaha)

now, what I think would complete my life is a sexy PIPPIN dvd. and Sweet Pool. yes.

EDIT: around 4pm today Ba-chon finally made a b-day greeting post to Masa. with a shiny new pic although some old personal pic with Masa would have been most preferable, but then they’re both too busy in their own projects recently anyway so… =___=;;. FINALLY!

i hope… they will never forget each other’s friendship! especially Ba-chon *kicks*, because Masa surely isn’t forgetting. even with now working apart from each other… because it’s hard to find real, close friends within show business! (or within the media industry in general… i know, i’ve been there! and it’s pretty ugly too @__@;;;…)

and they make such a lovely couple too asldkfjdkfjdsklsl

and lulz he greeted Masa first before his co-Pureboy heehee.

i fucking hate doing this cv.

wtf all these thinking of flowery words that would most likely be never read.

i hate doing interviews. don’t you fucking dare ask me things. i hate talking. i hate having to impress people.

fake good face forward, sucking it up. it’s all too fucking fake.

fuck.

if only they knew how much in a financial funk i am right now.but even if they knew, still they’ll pester me.  even more.

i’ve gotten to the point of beyond caring.

…but still how much I wish that I drank before they called…

but i’ll get through this.  i know i should. i will.  i am going to live the life i want and nobody is going to fucking stop me from getting there.

nice…it’s been long since i’ve last felt like this XD

finally, i think i wouldn’t drink again for a long long time…

(and makes this day fly by so fast.  whee!  that tomorrow it’s back to the battlefield of a bank again and pestering the CC service to just hurry the fuck up)