blackbook

wahhh i missed you~~~

(because there had been a day… that this suddenly disappeared off the face of my planet lol)

sorry.  just trying this crossposting thing atm^^;;.

as i said, i don’t really write here (i write instead at my blackbook).  but sometimes i can’t help but get giddy and spazzy, so…

btw.  i lost my phone a day before the concert.  LOL.  it’s only the sight of Eunhyuk’s(?) jawline that somehow comforted me during those days… lol.

i’m thinking of getting an Iphone…  mainly because i just want a phone i can draw on.  lol.

EDIT: i couldn’t get lj cut to work properly. eh@__@;;.

Current Mood:  hot

ehhh… the return of 「闇の末裔」 Yami no Matsuei???

apparently there had also been some sightings.

i didn’t realize it’s been 8 years already^^;;….

ah… got to find out now if that last phonebook chapter i read is really the last chapter so far akdsljflsdkjfljkf.

EDIT: apparently not akdsjflsdjflsdkjf.

… it’s quite sad though that there are no promises that the story would go further ;o;.  nobody even knows what really happened to Matsushita-sensei… will the Heaven sphere story be ever finished?  what about the story with Nagare???  i also hope the art AND content wouldn’t deviate that much from last chapter…  (dreading specially at that “change of content” thing…)

… i’m honestly filled with dread =o=;;;.

i really love this series.  i hope it just wouldn’t end abruptly.  it’s so full of memories for me~~~ and i learned so much from its art~~~~

IT STILL HAS A FANBASE, argh.  please just don’t look at Japan to determine if it would continue or not >.<…

we’re still waiting…

ah… my packages arrived today =D♥♥♥♥♥♥!

EDIT: ah… it’s only now that i’ve seen the last chapters and the Oriya sidestory…

… EHHH??? the art has changed DDDDD= ???? that much???

when i was about to rule out the Oriya sidestory change as intentional…

なぜ　；o；～～～～～～ （涙）

… ah >___<;;.

but still…!  wouldn’t stop me from buying vol. 12!  just really hope the art would slowly go back to the way it was and improve in the future alsjdljfldskjfskl!

…than be in a world without sincerity and truth.

that’s my truthXD.

…even if sometimes it feels like i’m only addressing myselfXD.

but then if people happens to walk the same way, i guess it’s ok.

as for people… that’s quite a complex matter^^;;.

i try my best to keep what i can. i don’t really believe that i should forget those who don’t really care in return (i cannot forget anyway) — i just wait and see if they’ll come around again.

it’s like love.

ehh is that less blood back then actually just a fluke?

i realize it’s almost already a month since my actual surgery.  but there’s still a little blood on my cotton.

am i just healing too slowly or what-__-?? uh, i think i am. should i take supplements already aside from vitamin c?

i haven’t been cut open before so i really have no idea =o=;;.

also trying to pace myself, and not rush my recovery like some people seem to try to goad me into>.>;;. i guess this is just another of those times that i could trust only myself? (or what my body clock is telling me, that is) and the well wishes and positivity from other people.

i should listen also to my body more. i wouldn’t have the stitch opening if i hadn’t let myself be pressured in the first place>.>;;.

i guess that’s why there are other people… to get strength from when you feel you cannot get enough from within you atm.

i’m writing a Vassalord fic right now. on my phoneXD. ah, my thumbs hurt ahaha. so i’m like on the stylus right now… slower ahaha =P.

…it’s starting to get painful as well, ahahaha.

and let’s do a repeat of this image

NOOOOOO I CAN FEEL THE BEGINNINGS OF A COLD ALREADY.  noooooo i don’t want to get sick noooooo >~<;;;;;…. self-medication is so not ftw right now ~o~;;;…

i wish i could see the Leonids tomorrow.

as much as i wouldn’t like to admit it, i’m still trying to find a way to integrate my old oekakiblog functions to this wordpress.  that oekakiblog that was plagued by spam, i just want to delete it.  reminds me… i still have to transfer the posts orz.

somehow it isn’t as simple as cgi + php.  and i don’t know if akismet could even be made to work with the oekaki.

especially when i don’t know much about complex coding *dies*.

it’s as hard as getting the now extremely buggy Postie to work with wordpress.  why can’t Wordpress just create an app already for Sony Ericsson phones like they did for the Iphone??  not everyone has an Iphone, especially when the camera is just 2mp X.x;;.  though i admit i was tempted once ahaha.

i just miss drawing online ahaha @__@;;;.

…i could get that persistent ahaha X__^;;.

yeah this post is asking for coding help ahaha.

i can actually post something everyday now.  ala Ito-kun.  because my drafts had already reached 99… and it’s getting pretty scary XP~~~

pain.

i don’t know why i still write here （苦笑）. as if anybody actually reads this.

i’m such a wimp （苦笑）.

i wrote some long painful entry earlier, but then 2 hours later made it private.

um. apparently settings here doesn’t work on another site^^;… i wonder then if that would eventually disappear?

when i say there are pieces of me, i could really only say pieces of me.

when i was in uni doing my thesis, one of the greatest lessons i have learned is that you could never really squeeze real life into a 1-hour film. much less 30 seconds or even less.

that was when i knew how to detach myself from a seemingly “personal” work in order to function properly.

i just couldn’t function properly right now.

coupled with things that are just not working out, things already acted on that all that is left is to -wait-. and i really could only painfully wait.

i envy those who can freely say their feelings and somehow never get judged, or receive reassuring responses. i wish i could be mean to redirect anger or whatever i’m be feeling right now, or simply be mean just for the sake of being mean and intolerant, but i can’t. and i couldn’t be envious either. that’s just not me.

things i could only… should only… keep to myself, i keep to myself.

it gets pretty lonely though. and painful （苦笑）.

i’m sorry.

1. i finally got my Heavy Equipment Pack. yes XD.

but somehow… it feels like… still not enough space..? XDD;;;

now, i’ll be working for my Elementalist but i’ll be more relaxed this time XDDD;;

2. Masa… is certainly one who knows how to turn on the cute (though i have a feeling he does not actually know he’s doing it XDDD;;). i don’t know if he and Ba-chon also has some psychic times going on alternating in posting pics of their dogsXDD;;.

i normally don’t keep small dogs (since they would be poor in guarding the house, certainly^^;;), but pics and posts like this just make me go *____*grabbyhands.

i actually want a Siberian Husky X3.

3. cats also pwn me too. i want a Russian Blue.

(alsjdflsflkdsjflksdfk now that i realize it, alsjfldsfjlsflsflsdl Mao’s cat looks like my cat:

i actually want to comment in his blog that his cat looks like mine, but… poor Japanese here X__x;;)

4. one of the most beautiful pics ever, it makes me wanna cry ;__^;; (and makes me wanna go there as well ;o;…!  really wasn’t able to do serious sightseeing back then when i was at Japan >__< ). also, several sweet ones: from Ba-chon, Takkun (this kinda makes me cry because of the nostalgia tho argh. and how Ba-chon and Hiromi were positioned on the pic… ;o;…), also Masa being an expert of projection X3.

brb backtracking Masa’s pics…

5. some wtf is going on here pics too: from Kazuki and Ba-chon (reminded me of that myu!doujinshi which has Gaku making use of this and beating pretty much everyone XDDD. i don’t know what health benefit is this supposed to achieve…? something related to abs perhaps…?)

6. whoever you are who bought the last copy of first-press of Shion’s single… >=0  ;o;…

7. those recent chibi!Kri Lin and Goku, Kuro summer festival version figures… X3! and one awesome actual scale GUNDAM in Odaiba 0___0…! (why the hell is it only for a couple of months though ;o;… shouldn’t it be like a national monument or sightseeing thing or something ;o;…!  i honestly wanted to see it in person ;o;…!)

8. went to a toy convention last saturday XDD! and unexpectedly met old friends~~~♥♥♥

9. 2 weeks left to go before i finally resign from work, and make a certain decision that could control me for 20-25 years. ahaha X__X;;. i’m really starting to feel sick of rl atm.

i think i was fated to work harder for everything in my life. i know that, and that’s ok with me. i think what is actually hard is my body (and more recently my mind) can’t keep up with it all argh >__<;;…

i’ll work my way slowly and surely towards it still. i just wish for a little more time… and the Heaven’s mercy though i know i really don’t deserve it…

given to me:

…it’s in italian though@__^;;. wahh @___@;;;…

but nevertheless, i think i’ll be keeping this. because i can’t afford (and hesitating to buy due to it not being quad-band) a Sony Ericsson G900 and having a keitai is too far off. and it happens to be kick-ass in itself adkjfldsjfldsjfdskfk. kinda nervous though that it’s all touchscreen and no keypad what if the touchscreen dies D:??? and this will be hot in criminals’ eyes too…

anyway, so researching all possible apps i could fit in at the Windows Mobile 6  Professional interface it has.. EasyDrawing and translating the whole thing into English appears to be impossible atm @___@;; (i’m just too scared to introduce hacks and illegal things to the phone too… viruses make me nervous), and  Scanlife (for all those net barcode goodies X3) doesn’t appear to have my phone model too though they provide generic but not guaranteed drivers (also, local cellphone companies don’t have internet settings for it too… ARGH. why does my phone have to be kickass yet so unpopular always >.<;;…)

so i’m looking at either Penreader or PenReader Touch (grr why no Japanese writing recognition though), Calyst@Dictionary Reader , PocketDict for Jap-Eng-Jap dictionary times or BEIKS or Kabuto SP or King Kanji for further learning, or for doodling Pocket Artist or Pakii Sketch (uwahh it looks like oekaki*____*) or VsPainter, or even… alkdflsjflsdjflsdjlf Pocket Flipbook 0.0..! (i remember my 2D animation study times ahaha).

…if only they were free D:.

there are free things though. but, of course, limited features @.<;; — for drawing there’s VsPainter LE1.75 (though some people has lots of complaints of it eating too much memory >__<;;), AmusArt, Mobile Sketcher; for kanji Kanji Learn, some barcode readers, maybe some SignTap Kana or Kanji…

honestly, this is really one of the worst weeks of my life. 1 week down, 3 weeks to go. I kind of want and do not want it to end — end in the way that i would not feel anymore this torment i brought upon myself, not want it to end in the way that i need more time. apparently, by the way things are going though that time is already running out for me. but i just can’t quit…

this realization, that everything could be given to me except what i really need…

oh, hai. been coughing out my lungs recently.

verdict: i would have really loved Total Video Converter if it was actually consistent X_x.

consistent in the terms that the same kind of video quality will be encoded everytime -especially- regardless that you rip and burn and convert the same video into different video codecs -without- closing the program.

TVC would have been ok as it’s the only instant rip-multiconverter so far who can do timecode ripping, i.e., rip a specific timeframe of video to the millisecond that you specify. but it has a tendency to crash, video quality codec encoding deteriorating if you use it for a long period of time (i.e, not closing the program at all and just rip-converting the same video over and over again only in different codecs), sometimes rawvideo couldn’t be screencapped on playback, and do other funny things i couldn’t understand X__x (i.e, it talking parameter gibberish)

Aimersoft is almost like that too. no exact to the millisecond rip-converting, and most importantly video and audio sometimes does not sync specially at almost hour-long footages =/ (e.g., Baba’s Tetsu dvd).

rawvideo, huffyuv rawvideo (and sometimes h264 and auto huffyuv) seems the way to go though.

(this is one of the times i wish i had an ipod. actually, a nano, but not the latest nano. i’m the 3rd-gen lover X__x, the squarish nano. just so i could finally watch all those videos i’m longing to watch for a long long time. because i couldn’t be with my computer all the time, always on the go and frequently bored in between)